


Reunion

by OverlordAvery



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Short One Shot, murder mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 12:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13857999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverlordAvery/pseuds/OverlordAvery
Summary: Osmund found himself shocked when he saw Bart standing in the halls of Blackwing, she looked so out of place with her eyes down cast, blood dripping off of her into a small puddle on the floor. He could actually feel a slight chill from the sight of her, if he didn’t know any better he would think she was in the middle of a massacre. As if they hadn’t gone through enough, but she didn’t seem interested in attacking anyone, she just stood there, chewing at her bloody fingers with a lost expression on her face.





	Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Their interaction interested me.   
> And M*x confirming their past as “friends” interested me.   
> I actually have a lot of headcanons between them and will eventually work on a roadtrip fic of them killing people.  
> Bart being her adorable self and Priest just being dragged into it.   
> He doesn't mind though because he likes Bart.  
> See it more as a Father/Daughter dynamic though. So there's that...
> 
> PS; Priest is still a piece of trash.   
> But he knows how to play good guy for manipulation purposes.   
> Can’t get everywhere fully on insubordination and murder and all. 
> 
> PPS; Also a work originally posted on Tumblr

He kept his eyes on her, mainly eyeing the bloodied chainsaw she had in her hand. Knowing if she wanted to she could easily kill everyone in this place without even batting an eye. He would usually be a little concerned about someone managing to sneak in to a secured facility, but he knew Bart always managed to find ways to get through any type of lock and security. It was one of the things the universe always did with her, just part of the charm. Right now, he decided it was more pressing to figuring out what Bart’s plan was here, if she was here with a vengeance or just because she had her friends here. Or one friend he supposed, seeing as from the comment she made to him, she no longer thought he was her friend.

He could see a look of sorrow and defeat on her face that he had never seen before. He caught agents out of the corner of his eye trying to advance on her and he was quick to hold up a hand to stop them from doing anything stupid. The last thing they needed was for Bart to decide to kill any more people and think that Blackwing wasn’t worth her time. He kept his hand raised to them as he walked over towards her. Still wearing the bloodied clothes from the Cárdenas house. Face having been cleaned up and ‘taken care of’ with a selection of eight band aids and six medical staples, that he decided to patch himself up with. He didn’t really see the point in getting anymore care done to it, even with how much the part of his team, that wasn’t dead (thanks to his own hand as punishment for not listening), insisted he go to medical. Knew no matter what it was going to scar, and Osmund never really was a vain man, so having his face horribly scarred didn’t faze him.

“Hey, Bart.” He smiled at her, watching as she raised her eyes but kept her head down. Always did have that meek look to her despite her being one of the most dangerous people in this place. It was one of the things he did find himself to enjoy about her, given the fact he couldn’t hurt her without possibly dying. So, watching the way she could get disappointed and discouraged, and acting like a lost child was enough at times to keep him from getting carried away.

“Hiyah, Mistah Priest.” He continued to walk as her hand went slack on the chainsaw, clearly not having any intention on attacking him. Which was good given the fact he really didn’t feel like dying, he slowly lowered his hand after motioning the agents to leave. Not wanting anyone to try and play hero like back at the house, which set off the annoying chain of events of Bart’s new friend attacking his men and cutting his face. He watched as she brought her free hand up to chew on her nails, smearing more blood on her face in the process. She looked like she must have killed a lot of people, she was practically soaked head to toe.

“It’s good to see you again.” He kept that patient smile, holding a hand out for her, it took her a moment but she slowly walked over to him. Dragging her feet before taking his hand, he could almost sigh in relief as he turned and started to lead them down the halls. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”  

“Okay.” Couldn’t help but wonder what happened given she was so excited to go to Wendimoor for that 'Happily, Ever After,’ which clearly didn’t pan out quite how she wanted it to. Guess he should fill the silence so she wouldn’t be stuck in her head.

“You know I was only trying to help you, right?” He finally added while giving her hand a gentle squeeze, even rubbed his thumb over the top of her knuckles to get her to look at him.

“Yeah. I know,” He could see her looking at the wound on his face. Even let go of his hand to motion at it. “Sorry I had Panto cut yer face, I just really wanted to go.”

“I know.” He smiled before giving a small laugh, “I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.” He added while looking ahead, finally reaching what would be her new room. He walked in with her and lead her into the bathroom where he had her sit on the counter. Getting a rag wet with warm water he knelt down in front of her, gently taking her free hand as she slowly set the chainsaw behind her. He glanced at it enough to watch the blood drip off the blade before looking to her as he worked on cleaning the blood off her hands. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” He asked, gently as he continued his work. Just like the good old days when he would help her get the blood off from when an ice cream trip turned into an assassination.

“I messed up, I tried to fight what I am and it got people hurt who wasn’t suppos’d ta get hurt.” He let his eyes flash up to her face as he got the rag slightly washed off before continuing. He got most of the blood off the top of her hand. “I’m a weapon.” Osmund bit his lip to stop a smile which was starting to come through, he’d told her that for years, wormed that idea into her head that she was a weapon and that’s all she ever would be. It was nice to hear that through everything she still believed that.

“That’s one thing you and I have always had in common, Kiddo.” He looked back up to her, leaning back on his calves so he was sitting on his ankles. “I know you don’t like this place, Bart, I get it. It was boring, people keep trying to tell you what to do… But it’s going to be different now.” He watched as she just frowned and brought her other hand up to her face when he finished cleaning her right one. Going back to chewing on her nails before forcing a smile.

“Yeah, and how’s it goin’ ta be different?” He washed the rag again and held out his hand to take her left one, she slowly gave it to him to let him continue cleaning her up.

“Well, I think Ken wanted to explain it to you, but,” He looked up to her with a smile getting that hand cleaned a lot faster than the first now that he was sure she was comfortable with him. That she didn’t seem to want to kill him for touching her hands and cleaning the blood off of her. He stood up and slowly tilted her head up by the chin, looking over her face which looked like such a mess. Getting the rag wet again to start cleaning the blood and dirt and grime off her cheek. “The new boss here, he seems to understand better than Riggins how everything with people like us works. He seems to know that we need a purpose, and to carry out our jobs. That they can’t just lock you up in a room and expect to get results.” He was gentle in the way he washed her face, being careful not to use too much pressure to irritate her skin.  "How’s that sound?“ He watched how her eyes seemed focused on the cut on his face, curious what was going on in that little head of hers as he cleaned the rag to start washing her forehead. Watching as she closed her eyes when droplets of dirty water started to run down her face.

"And ya really believe that, Mistah Priest?” He gave a low hum, at the question.

“You know, I really do.” He stated, finishing getting the blood off her face. He slowly released her chin and dropped the rag in the sink. “Why don’t you take a nice hot shower, and then we can sit and wait for Ken. Okay?” Was already stepping back to give her space, stepping out of the room when she got off the counter and started to remove her blood-soaked clothes.  

“Do ya think we can get some ice cream before I see Ken?” He glanced away as she continued stripping, smile on his face while he nodded.

“Yeah, we can do that, I’m going to change first though, alright?”  

“Okay.” He took in a deep breath and walked more into the main area of her room to get the fresh clothes they had picked out for her along with a towel. He leaned against the wall by the bathroom once he was done setting everything out and waited patiently for her to finish her shower. Eyes locked on the wall as he crossed his hands in front of him, slowly getting bored as she took her time cleaning herself off. “Hey, Mistah Priest?” He glanced towards the open door before shifting to lean his shoulder on the wall outside of it so he could hear her better.

“Yeah, Bart?”

“I really hope ya mean it. When ya say it’s different now.” He couldn’t help but smile at the words while nodding despite her not being able to see him.

“Oh, trust me, Kiddo, it’s a lot better now.” Already had plans to help her out on her missions given other agents might do something stupid to get themselves killed. And he had a good track record so far of not being on the other end of her weapon, hell even at the Cardenas house she easily could have killed him but just let Panto incapacitate him so they could leave. He glanced at the open door when he heard the shower shut off, looking away when she walked out and over to the bed. Picking up the towel that was there and roughly towel drying herself off as she looked to the uniform that was laid out. He couldn’t help but look at the scar on her leg, slowly dragging his eyes away to stare at the door as she got dressed. Remembered reading about the encounter Bart had with Svlad and Farah. He was actually fascinated that the woman was able to hurt the girl. No one had ever managed that before.

“Okay, let’s go.” She walked passed him, grabbing his hand and walking towards the door that actually just opened for her. He looked around the halls and gently pulled her hand the opposite way she was leading.

“This way, Bart.” He said gently, watching as she stared down the hall and tilted her head before looking back at him.

“Oh.” He smiled while walking with her, curious what was making her want to go that way given her sudden interest. Only thing interesting over there was Ken… he pushed that thought to the side for now before leading the girl more down the halls. Amused how she went from being a step behind him to right next to him. Looking around the halls completely uninterested in the Agents who seemed to get nervous as they walked by. He eventually stopped in front of a door and typed in his code to open it before glancing at her.  

“Do you want to come in or wait out here?” Curtesy to ask, she was already walking passed him and walking in the room. Practically jumping on his bed and laying down to stare at the ceiling. He closed the door behind him while taking off his leather jacket, looking at his clothing choices. He couldn’t stop the smile when she had leaned over off the bed to tug on his shirt.  

“Hey, Mistah Priest?” He looked over to her, watching how she laid on her stomach half dangling off the bed and boredly kicking her feet.

“Yes?”

“What types ah things we gonna be doin’ here. Since big business understahnds us?” He smiled while working on changing out of his blood-soaked clothes, pulling on the black pants that used to be Martin’s while shrugging his shoulders. Grabbing an undershirt and tucking it into his pants along with Martin’s shirt as he rolled the sleeves up to his elbows.

“I can’t say for sure. But I’ll make sure they listen to my recommendations, especially involving you.” He buttoned up the shirt before buttoning up his pants, stepping back into his boots and tying them tight around the ankle before making sure he transferred everything from his old pants into the new ones.

“And those would be?” She was getting off the bed and already walking to his door. He could feel her eyes on him as he pulled on the sleeveless jacket and turned to join her.

“Let you go where the universe tells you you need to go.” He said with a smile while following her out the door and closing it behind him. Pleased when he heard the door lock click into place, he led her to the common area, ignoring how some Agents quickly stood up and looked to Bart, food left on tables from their obvious nervousness.

“They always like that?” Priest laughed while walking with her further into the room.

“The newer ones, yeah.” He mused, noticing some Agents, his agents, were casually still just eating and not paying Bart any mind. He moved to the large industrial fridge in the room, opening the freezer and humming to himself when he found what he wanted. Pulling the sticky note off the pint of ice cream that was there he held it out for her. She was already taking it from his hands and opening the lid of it, he grabbed her a spoon and handed it over before leading her out back into the halls. She ate the ice cream rather happily while following after him. “I’ll make sure to keep that stocked with ice cream for you.” Not like anyone would be able to stop her when she eventually wandered out of her room to do whatever it was she wanted to do. He watched with amusement as she ended up rather enthusiastically bouncing in front of him, turning to face him as she walked backwards.

“Ya want some Mistah Priest?” Holding out the spoon that had a spoonful of ice cream on it. He couldn’t stop the smile as he took it from her to take the bite before giving it back. She happily went back to eating it herself, walking into her room as the agents that were outside glanced at them. He slowly stopped in the open doorway, looking to the two of them.

“You know you’re not supposed to have weapons when near Bart, right?” He asked with amusement while looking to the M16’s both of them held. He watched as they glanced down at the guns then back up at him. “Really if you’re here it’s just to tell someone when Bart decides to leave the room. Now go turn those in.” Also, not wanting to die if one of them got trigger happy. He walked into the room, listening to the doors close behind him as he joined her at the table. Pulling out his phone to message Ken and catching the pint when she slid it across the table to him. He took another bite before passing it back, amused by her little laugh. She really was easy to amuse some times.

“When’s Ken gonna get here? You think he’ll want some?” She asked while holding the pint up so the ice cream was facing him.

“I just told him where to meet us, so hopefully soon. And you’ll have to ask him that yourself.” She slowly shoved a spoonful in her mouth before stabbing the spoon back into the ice cream and sliding it back over to him. He caught the pint before taking another bite. “Or, we could just eat it all and hide the evidence.” She laughed while reaching over the table and grabbing the pint. He gave an amused smile while holding the spoon out for her.

“That wouldn’t be very nice, Mistah Priest.” Priest just grinned while leaning back in his seat. Glancing at the door curious how the reunion between her and Ken was going to go. “Hey,” He looked back over to her, watching how she poked at the ice cream with the spoon, slowly raising her eyes to look at him. “I’m sorry I said we wasn’t friends.” He bit his lip to stop from smiling at those words, from how she seemed so focused on pushing the ice cream around with the spoon rather than look at him. “I just didn’t like how ya weren’t listenin’ ta me and kept tryin’ ta force me ta go withs you.” He tilted his head, knowing it also had to be due to the fact she made real friends for once. And how easy it must have been for her to spot the difference between their “friendship” compared to how Panto and Ken were with her.

“Bart,” he smiled as she looked up at him. “Our friendship is different than what you found out on your own. I can understand not viewing myself as your friend anymore. After all, I’m not just your Friend, I’m also a mentor of types.” She was smiling a bit while looking back to the ice cream. “Maybe things can be different this time.” That he would really be able to get inside of her head, more so than when she was a kid. Was one thing to gaslight and work on Stockholm from being the only person not afraid of her. But now with her as an adult… She would really be a good tool to have wrapped around his finger. He glanced up when he heard the door slide open, eyes locking on Ken who looked from him to Bart. Priest watched as the girl practically jumped up and ran over and jumped on the man with a squeal in delight. A grin slowly taking over his face, pulling at the injury on his face as he slowly stood up.

Would have to work on making her like him more than Ken too, in case he decided the man had outlived his usefulness to him.


End file.
